How to Defend Yourself Against Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Emotional and verbal abuse can sometimes be difficult to recognize. The abuse can include constant criticism, manipulation and intimidation. These forms of abuse wear down victims' trust of their own perceptions, self-confidence and self-worth. Verbal and emotional abuse can occur in any form of relationship, including among peers, family, couples and even co-workers. If someone you know is consistently making you feel bad, demeaning you, insulting or criticizing you, then you are likely struggling with emotional and verbal abuse. However, things don't always have to stay the same. You can learn to defend yourself and set your own boundaries.

Instructions

Listen to your inner voice and feelings and recognize that you are not at fault. One of the most difficult steps when it comes to defending yourself against verbal and emotional abuse is the recognition that you do not deserve the treatment you are suffering.

Do not make excuses for the abuser. With emotional and verbal abuse, the abuser can convince the victim that the victim is at fault, but you must recognize that only the abuser is responsible for the abuser's actions and that those actions have nothing to do with you.

Do not engage in abusive conversation. You may feel tempted in the heat of the moment to defend yourself and attempt to prove your side. However, the most effective method of defending yourself is not to let the abuser hurt you with words; responding aggressively may only serve to escalate the abuse.

Stay calm and look your abuser in the eyes and say, "Stop." Do not allow the abuse to continue, but also remove yourself from the conversation.

Alert the abuser to the abusive nature of the actions and perhaps suggest counseling. When you are both calm, broach a discussion, set boundaries and assert your basic rights to respect, emotional support, holding an opposing view, having your feelings validated, and living free from threat without being ridiculed or demeaned. This is a step you may want to consider if you are hoping to salvage the abusive relationship.

Leave the relationship if the abuse continues. If your abuser is a co-worker, bring the abuse up to your supervisor. You do not deserve to be abused, and you should consider seeking counseling for yourself to help you learn about the effects of abuse and healthier ways of relating to others in future relationships.

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