Monday, January 26, 2015

Age Difference Between Couples

The new rules for May/December romances allow both sexes to date and marry partners many years older or younger than themselves. While society is more accepting, there are pitfalls that can be avoided with a little preparation and a lot of communication.

Talk About It

    You can celebrate love at any age.
    You can celebrate love at any age.

    It is still more acceptable for men to date or marry younger women than the other way around, but there is wider acceptance of all arrangements these days. The real issue isn't acceptance, it is communication. Don't be afraid to express concerns and talk about them openly in the relationship. Sexuality, tastes in music, even bed times, can be affected by age, so make sure you and your partner agree on the basics of a lifestyle that can make you both happy.

Be Honest

    Share sunsets with someone you really want to be with, not just someone who is socially acceptable.
    Share sunsets with someone you really want to be with, not just someone who is socially acceptable.

    What is the reason you are attracted to someone of a different generation. Tell yourself the truth, and you will be much more relaxed about expressing your choices. This self-awareness translates into genuineness in the relationship.

Enjoy the Differences

    Share each other's music, tastes and experiences as a celebration of your age differences.
    Share each other's music, tastes and experiences as a celebration of your age differences.

    Instead of letting age differences be a problem, let them be a part of the richness. Your perspective may be much different than your partner's, but that can be a plus if you both appreciate it. Avoid a situation where you are afraid to mention a music group or event that shows your age. Bring it up boldly, and your partner will grow in appreciation of your perspective.

Respect Each Other's Families

    Judgmental family members can cause stress, so head it off by being open and honest about your relationship and your intentions.
    Judgmental family members can cause stress, so head it off by being open and honest about your relationship and your intentions.

    You don't have to ask each other's families for permission to be together, but you can respect them and be very open about answering their questions. Tell them you don't intend to offend, but love strikes where it will and you would appreciate them making it as easy as possible for the two of you to grow together.

Money and Age Differences

    Falling in love doesn't have to mean sinking into debt.
    Falling in love doesn't have to mean sinking into debt.

    When one partner is approaching retirement well before the other partner, investing and spending preferences can cause strife. This can be especially true if the older partner is financially better off than the younger one. Make your financial goals and preferences crystal clear, and leave room for your partner to make decisions about her own preferences. You can build a financial future together and also have separate funds that you use at your own discretion. Mutual debt can cause dissention, so make your debt tolerance clear, and don't be timid even if it is due to your age.

Enjoy Each Other

    Plan together time where you simply enjoy each other instead of working on age issues.
    Plan together time where you simply enjoy each other instead of working on age issues.

    Whatever the reason for the attraction, the two of you didn't find age to be a problem in the beginning. Don't let dealing with inevitable issues occupy all your time. Spend a lot of time just having the relationship instead of always working on it, and save the age issues for your spare time. Enjoying yourselves makes the disagreements and compromises worth it.



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