How to Get Over Denial About a Breakup

Some people use the strategy of denial when they break up with someone that they cared about. Instead of focusing on moving on and meeting someone new, he clings to the idea that the one that he loves is eventually going to come back. Such denial is not a healthy coping mechanism, and the strategy will not last long.

Communicate with family and friends about the breakup and the struggles you are experiencing. Explore the reasons for your breakup with the people that you know will always be there for you. Talking about the breakup can help you come to the realization that things are really over between you and your ex. You can even attempt to communicate with your ex if you two have a good standing friendship in place. Ask her any questions that you need answers to, and accept all of the answers that she gives you as truth.

Dispose of memories from the relationship that you no longer need or that are only causing you pain. It is O.K. to keep memories and tokens that mean a lot to you and that you want to hold onto. For example, if he gave you a beautiful necklace that you love to wear to fancy events, feel free to keep it. However, recognize when a treasure is keeping you from moving on and know when it is time to get rid of it. By letting go of the memories from your relationship, you are taking the first step toward moving on after a difficult breakup.

Assure yourself that the relationship was not meant to work out. Realize that if he really loved you he never would have left you in the first place. Instead, he would have worked with you to solve the problems in your relationship. Remind yourself that you deserve better than someone who is going to make you feel this much pain. These strategies will help you come to the conclusion that the relationship is truly over because you are no longer interested in pursuing it.

Instead of constantly thinking about your past relationship and obsessively wondering whether or not it is actually over, spend time focusing on yourself. Participate in activities that you enjoy but haven't had time for recently. Determine what aspects of your personality contributed to the failure of your relationship and spend time working on improving any traits of yours that contributed to the breakup. Spend time with family members and friends. Before you know it, you will be more focused on yourself and you will forget about your past relationship.

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