Human beings are social animals who face stress and discouragement in the wake of failed relationships. The ideal situation would be making a clean break from your ex until you have had time to heal, but this is not always feasible. You may be tied to your ex through social circles, your career and kids. Those initial encounters threaten to be awkward, but there are steps you can take to lessen your discomfort and disappointment. It all starts within you.
Leave Emotions Out of It
It is perfectly natural to feel a rush of emotions that will leave you off-center when you run into an ex, but the best way to handle it is to avoid a public display of these feelings. This will only serve to make those around you feel as awkward as you do. Keep all communication on-topic. If you need to talk about your job, keep it professional. If you run into your ex at a party, keep it light and friendly, just as you would with any other acquaintance.
Don't Take Things Personally
Even if you see your ex hanging on the arm of another, don't beat yourself up for not being "good enough" to hold onto her. Sometimes relationships end because one or both partners need something else or something different. This doesn't mean that anyone who takes your place in the relationship is better. A failed relationship doesn't have to define your self-worth. So keep your chin up and be gracious.
Leave Others Out of It
If your breakup included kids, it is especially important to maintain a level of maturity in any confrontations with your ex. Don't say negative things in front of the kids about your ex, or use them as messengers so that you can avoid the ex. The same holds true for shared friends or loved ones. The more you degrade your ex and pour out your pain and disappointment to those who have to maintain relationships with both of you, the more tense you will inevitably make these situations where everyone is present.
Avoid Rather Than Confront
One of the best ways to avoid the awkwardness of a confrontation is to avoid the confrontation itself. If you find yourself consistently put in uncomfortable situations by shared friends, perhaps it is time to find new friends. Likewise, you should resist any temptation to keep tabs on what your ex might be doing or who she might be dating. While things are still raw and awkward, take a break from the other person, even if it means "de-friending" her on social networks.
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