How to Effectively Communicate With Your Partner

Communication is vital to keeping a relationship healthy. Without communication, a relationship cannot flourish and grow the way it should and may have a tendency to fizzle out, become bitter, or even end altogether. Partners need to communicate with each other on a daily basis, but real communication (deep thought and analysis) should take place anytime feelings need to be brought to the table. Learn how to effectively communicate with your partner to encourage your relationship to develop into one that has stability, respect and understanding.

Instructions

Keep open communication by discussing the need to talk. When both partners understand how important communication is to a relationship, they will be better prepared for talking. If both partners know what to expect ahead of time, there will be less complaint and worry when one of them wants to talk about his or her feelings. It's a good idea to do this so that your partner knows you are not going to hide your emotions and tuck them away. Also explain that you plan on being open yourself and not just expecting him to be. He will then be prepared when you have something on your mind that is bugging you and won't be as likely to shy away from talking. This goes both ways.

Honestly communicate how you feel. If you are upset, do not keep it hidden inside. Tucking your feelings away is not only bad for the relationship, but also unhealthy for you. Effective communication in a relationship means also sharing the good. Talk about your day, your hobbies, how much you love one another, and show appreciation with words. Communicating your feelings to your partner, good and bad, will help to keep the doors open and encourage the relationship to grow and change in a healthy way.

Put the responsibility on yourself, by using "I" statements, such as "I feel," "I am" and "I want" when talking to your partner. Putting the responsibility of how you feel on yourself helps your partner to feel less defensive when communicating. If you make statements like "you always" or "you never," your partner tends to take that as a personal attack that can cause an argument. By saying things like "I am hurt when," you are taking the heat off of your partner. This makes for better communication and helps both partners to be more understanding when discussing issues. Also, try not to use words like "always" and "never" because it's very rare that anyone "always" or "never" does something. These are exaggerated words that can often cause arguments as well. Instead, say "sometimes" or "at times" to make for a more healthy conversation.

Communicate with your partner during less stressful times. Communication should happen when both partners have time to listen and are not rushing to get things done. Speak during dinner time, while relaxing on the couch, or after the kids are in bed. If you tend to catch your partner when he or she is stressed, you will probably not get the responses you are looking for and feelings will get hurt. Communicating while under pressure often causes people to say things they don't mean or to not take the time to talk about things they need to.

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