Arguments are a vital part of any romantic relationship. A couple that never argues is likely setting itself up for failure because they probably aren't communicating effectively. Therefore anger and frustrations build up between both parties over time. However, how a couple argues plays a large role in whether the arguments are healthy or toxic to the relationship. Making the relationship with your boyfriend better after an argument requires you to subjectively examine your own actions and make a concerted effort to adjust them in the future, while also expecting the same courtesy in return.
Instructions
- 1
Listen to your boyfriend carefully during the argument or think back to what he said. Examine your boyfriend's point of view and be as empathetic as possible so you understand his frustrations. It's important to be honest with yourself and your partner when examining the real causes of an argument.
2Write down things you could do to prevent the argument from happening in the future. For example, if your boyfriend was upset over your tone of voice, write down a pledge to not speak to him in that manner in the future. Keepi a relationship journal to keep track of good times as well as arguments.
3Apologize to your boyfriend for things you genuinely regret. An insincere apology will not help the relationship and you shouldn't take blame for things that weren't your fault. However, Psychology Today verifies that a sincere apology over a specific mistake helps to alleviate anger in your boyfriend and can assist in bringing you both together again post-argument.
4Discuss what you can both do in the future to make your relationship stronger while preventing the same argument from repeating itself. Work together to solve your problems after a fight. This makes you both stronger as a result.
5Plan activities that you both can do together so you share experiences and enjoy each other's company again once the argument has subsided. This strengthens your relationship.
6See a couples' therapist if arguments continue and you still want to stay together. Columbia University recommends this for couples who argue frequently or for relationships where violence is a concern. A therapist listens to the both points of view and can help evaluate the problems while offering healthy solutions.
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