A codependent relationship exists when one partner constantly tries to play the savior or the helper for the other, defining his self-esteem and self-worth over his ability to solve problems and to "fix" the other person in the relationship. As a result, it becomes difficult for both members of the relationship to see each other as equals and one may feel oppressed or smothered by the other. Dealing with a codependent partner in a relationship requires honesty, effective communication and diligence.
Instructions
- 1
Take responsibility for your own actions. Codependents often become that way in response to alcoholism, gambling or other addictions on behalf of their partner, and their lives become defined by helping the afflicted person. Stop relying on the codependent and start working on solving your own problems and dealing with your own issues.
2Speak honestly with your partner about your concerns regarding codependency. Your partner will likely take this hard at first, but honest communication is key in improving the relationship in the long term.
3Pursue therapy. A codependent relationship can develop into a difficult cycle to break because both parties rely in the other for any feeling of fulfillment. A therapist can identify the unhealthy behaviors in your relationship and can recommend healthy solutions to them. Your partner could also benefit from therapy, but you can't make that decision for someone else.
4Encourage your partner to pursue activities that she enjoys or that give her a sense of self-esteem. It is vital for you both to forge your own identities separate from each other and develop your own senses of self-esteem.
5Schedule time where both you and your partner spend time apart from each other with friends and family. If one partner is gone having fun, the other may be stuck at home feeling miserable, which makes codependency worse. If you both are out enjoying yourselves, you can develop your own lives and identities and break the codependent chain.
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