How to Date After a Long-Term Relationship

Getting back into the dating scene after the breakup of a long-term relationship can be extremely daunting. After all, you might still be getting over the feelings you had for your ex or you might just not remember what life feels like as a single person. Either way, it is highly possible to achieve success in dating after a long-term relationship ends.

Instructions

Take a long hard look at your past relationship. Before jumping into meeting new people and dating someone new, it is important to analyze and review what happened in your previous relationship. Think about how you contributed to the initial success of the union, and what you might have done to contribute to its downfall in the end, as well. Ponder how, in the future, you would like to go about a relationship differently.

Make sure that you are over your ex. It is unfair (both to you and the other party) to try to date anyone if you are not over your ex yet. You cannot successfully and healthily pursue a dating life if you are still hung up on the pain and hurt of your broken long-term relationship. If the thought of your ex dating someone new devastates you, you are not over it. If you break down in tears when love songs play on the radio, you are not over it. Mostly, you are not over your long-term relationship if you would ever consider getting back together with your ex.

Stop living in regret. It is only natural to have some feelings of regret after the breakup of a serious relationship. However, it is healthy and normal to allow yourself some time to heal and then realize that the breakup occurred for a reason and that a new chapter is about to begin in your life. Embrace the newness of your life situation and cut out all of the negativity. Not only will it make you miserable, but it is a major turnoff to potential new romantic prospects.

Take your time. Just because your last relationship was serious doesn't mean that you have to immediately jump into another long-term situation. Jumping into a new relationship to make up for your past one is a sign of insecurity and low self-esteem. Value yourself enough to allow yourself the luxury of time. Be careful and get to know people well before dating them seriously. Make some new friends. Enjoy your life and keep realistic expectations. Not everyone that you meet has to be the new "love of your life."

Do not obsess over your past relationship to potential new suitors. Rambling nonstop about how hurt you are over your last relationship is a quick way to turn off new dating partners quickly. The other person will know quickly that you are still hung up on your ex and will likely want to run away from you, and fast. It is understandable that you would want to talk about your past relationship with new people, but keep the discussion brief and avoid coming across as bitter. Do not fall into the pitfall of turning every conversation back into your failed relationship.

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