Equality doesn't always exist in relationships. One partner often has stronger feelings than the other does. You may be more dependent or reliant on the other person than your partner is on you. While complete equality may be an unrealistic expectation, a severe imbalance of power in the relationship can be unhealthy. If you feel your boyfriend has the upper hand in your relationship, you should be honest with yourself when deciding if the relationship is right for you.
Instructions
- 1
Compare who initiates contact on a regular basis. If you're always the one calling your boyfriend and making plans for the two of you, he may have the upper hand in the relationship, since he doesn't have as much invested in it.
2Listen to your boyfriend when he talks. If he does not express affection well or sounds indifferent to your needs, he may have the upper hand, since he is not as emotionally involved and therefore has less to lose. This is also true if you typically get emotional while he remains calm.
3Change your behavior towards your boyfriend. Stop calling, if you usually contact him. Create distance and see if he notices. If doing so is difficult for you, and he seems indifferent to the changes, he has the upper hand.
4Analyze your arguments. If you always apologize or are made to feel like you are at fault, you're surrendering power to your boyfriend, and he has the upper hand over you. If arguments are equal, with both of you taking responsibility for them, there may be no upper hand.
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