Gender Communication During Conflict

Men and women communicate differently. This difference is most apparent when members of the opposite sex get into an argument. Often, couples are faced with many of the same problems, whether they're newly dating or have been married for a long time. Common problems include women feeling neglected by the man in their life; and men feeling that the woman in their life has too many mood swings.

More often than not, it's the way in which men and women communicate that hurts and scars more than the actual origin of the disagreement. Often, a discussion that starts one way will turn into an argument about something entirely different, led astray due to miscommunication. Typically, this is because women don't communicate directly enough for men to understand. In response, men tend to feel that the woman is disapproving of them, and they become defensive.

Men and women problem solve in very different ways. Women deal with a problem by talking about it and thinking it through. This helps to deepen the bond between the woman and whoever she's in conflict with. Solving a problem, and the way that it's solved, will either make the woman feel closer or more distant from the man. This is why women decide to solve specific problems in specific ways, even if it isn't the fastest solution. Men, on the other hand, see a problem as an opportunity to show how competent they are at swiftly fixing problems. Solving a problem quickly takes precedence over the many other ways in which the problem can be solved.

Often, when a man and a woman get into a disagreement, the woman wants to continue talking until the problem is resolved; while the man in the relationship may shut down and refuse to talk about the issue at hand any longer. While each person acts and reacts uniquely, there are some general actions that are common in both men and women. According to TimesOnline.com, men are more apt to silence themselves during an argument and keep their feelings inside instead of continuing with the confrontation. On the other hand, women see themselves as the "manager" of the relationship and practically demand to talk out problems immediately.

Often, the same issues arise time and time again in male-female relationships. In order to get rid of the problem once and for all, the source of the problem must be unearthed. In order to do this, it's often necessary for both people to visit a professional counselor, either for a private session or for a couple's session. Problems that reoccur point to a disconnect in communication between the couple.

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