How to Avoid Nagging Your Mate

It is not always easy to get along with your partner, and sometimes good intentions can come across as abrasive and controlling. Not everyone --- including your mate --- will see your advice as constructive criticism. Nagging is a trait that rarely accomplishes its desired goal. If you are prone to bossing your mate around, follow these simple steps to soften your approach and keep your relationship on good terms. Your partner will still get the meaning and you will seem less offensive.

Instructions

Make suggestions without using words. You can provide reminders of many errands without voicing a demand. If your prescription needs to be filled, place the empty bottles by the car keys so your spouse can remember that errand. If a voice is needed, limit yourself to one word. Tell your partner "Bread!" when he is on his way to the grocery store, instead of a patronizing sentence like "It would be great if for once you could remember to bring home wheat bread."

Have clear assignments. If chores are a particular sore spot in your home, make sure that each person knows what chore she is supposed to do. Make a list and post it on the refrigerator. Every once in a while, show your partner how much you appreciate him by doing his chore for him. If he usually takes the garbage out, grab the bags before you head out the door for work. Another important thing to remember is that a house of slobs breeds more slobs. Messy areas tend to stay messy, so if you want a tidy house, set the example and be neat yourself.

Settle for less than what you consider perfection. That can mean sometimes settling for a partial victory. Years of bad habits are hard to break, and no amount of nagging or pleading is going to make your spouse change overnight. So if your partner is never placing dishes in the dishwasher, feel great about getting her to leave them in the kitchen instead of in the family room. It may not be exactly what you want but it is better than having to hunt and peck for plates and silverware all over the house.

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