How to Leave a Destructive Relationship

Relationships can be destructive for any number of reasons. Yours may be verbally abusive. It may be physically abusive. Both parties involved in the relationship may be abusive to each other. No matter how or why the relationship is destructive, sometimes the only solution is to leave. Leaving some destructive relationships can be dangerous. Others can simply be difficult to leave because of your financial status, the length of time you were together, or the fact that children are involved. But rest assured that if the relationship is destructive, the best thing you can do for yourself is to leave it.

Instructions

Save cash, if at all possible. Start a savings account in your name and keep the account information in a safe place so that your partner can't get to it. If you are in an extremely controlling relationship, you may have a difficult time following through with this step.

Prepare important items that you will need to take with you. These can include birth certificates for you or your children, medications, legal documents, medical documents, bank information and clothing. Also consider taking sentimental items, like photos. If your relationship is abusive, you will have to do this in a way that is discreet. If you are afraid that your partner will notice that you have taken something, leave it. No material thing is worth your safety or well-being.

Call friends, family members, or shelters to make a plan for after you leave. Having arrangements ahead of time will help minimize the panic you might have felt without a place to go. If your relationship is abusive, then you will need to be cautious about who you talk to. This will reduce the chance of your abusive partner finding you after you leave.

Prepare a plan for leaving. If your relationship is not dangerous, you may wish to tell your partner in person that you are leaving. However, if you think that talking to your partner in person would prevent you from leaving when you are sure that leaving is the right thing to do, opt to leave a letter instead.

Attend counseling for yourself, or join a support group. This will help you deal with your feelings after the relationship, understand if and when you should ever go back, and heal so that you can have healthier relationships in the future.

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