Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Things Couples Negotiate

As relationships grow, it is normal for there to be conflict among couples. In order to find acceptable solutions, you must learn how to negotiate with your partner. Some things, such as core feelings, values and trust, cannot be negotiated.Things that couples negotiate about are also things that couples fight about. However, negotiating instead of arguing about these things can help to strengthen your relationship.

Finances

    Couples may not always have shared goals when it comes to saving and spending. While one partner may be more frugal and wish to save for a car, a house or retirement, the other may not have a sense of urgency for these things. Couples may also have different ideas about how much to save or spend. These differences often are a result of how you were brought up and what money habits you developed at a young age. Devising a budget that accounts for all types of saving and spending will promote negotiation.

Sex

    Couples can disagree over the type, quality and quantity of sex they are having in their relationship. If your sexual needs and desires are not being met by your partner or you are not meeting your partner's needs, you may even find your self in a sexless relationship. With the understanding that men and women are hardwired differently, you must discuss your needs and expectations with your partner. Additionally, it is important to remember that many sex issues begin outside of the bedroom. Communicating about your issues and compromising about the type, quality and quantity of sex will help resolve issues about sex in your relationships.

Work

    In a time where both partners often have a career, couples may find themselves fighting regularly about careers and work. If schedules clash, one person may be forced to put their career on the back burner which can cause resentment within a relationship. Additionally, when one partner works too much, your relationship and your family may suffer. In order to negotiate about work, you and your partner must communicate your long term goals about career and family to one another and find a way to compromise.

Children

    It is likely that you and your partner come from different family backgrounds and have different ideas about how to rear children. You may even disagree about how many children you want, or if you will have any children at all. In order to offer stability to your kids, it is necessary that you prevent a united front. Negotiating about your children -- which, of course should never be done in front of them -- requires discussions about appropriate parenting actions in all situations. Additionally, it requires compromising duties. For example, you might decide to turns getting up with an infant or young child in the middle of the night or you may get up every time because your spouse has to work in the morning.



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