In his article "10 Basic Truths About Keeping Your Relationship Healthy" on the Psychology Today website, psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith writes, "Give what you want to get. Our needs change with time. If you'd like to feel understood, try being more understanding. If you want to feel more love, try giving more." So instead of feeling neglected when your boyfriend is busy at work or school, find ways to help him reduce his load and, in turn, have more time to spend with you.
Instructions
- 1
Run errands for him when you have the time to do so. Pick up his dry cleaning, return his library books, do the grocery shopping -- anything that steals away the precious minutes that he has after work and school that could be spent together.
2Take him to appointments and use the time sitting in the various waiting rooms and standing in lines for light-hearted conversations. Stressful days of non-stop running can be made fun with the right company. As Dr. Goldsmith says, "Find a way to become and stay best friends. For some, this sounds unromantic, but for those who live it, most say it's the best part of their time together."
3Offer to do chores around your boyfriend's home in exchange for quality time. You do not want to make it a habit of becoming his maid, but maids do not get a romantic dinner out in return for opening up some time in his busy schedule.
4Help him with his studies or work as much as possible. If he is working towards a degree, be his study buddy and quiz him on his notes or if he is working toward a career advancement, make some coffee when he brings work home with him and be a listening ear to bounce ideas off of.
5Ask your busy boyfriend what else you can do to help him de-stress and reach his goals faster. Do so in a way that shows him you are on his side, avoiding whining "you're at fault" statements like, "We never get to spend anytime together," and instead using "How can I make things better in your world so I can have even more of a part in it?"
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