How to Avoid Blame in a Conflict

Conflict may occur in the most unlikely situations and may seem to follow us no matter where we go. It is a common experience and the result of many contributing factors. Many feel that by blaming others, they are not ultimately responsible for the situation at hand. For those who receive the constant blame, it can be an emotionally and physically exhausting experience. It is important to remember that it takes at least two people to participate in conflict, and many times the situation can get out of hand.

Instructions

Take responsibility for your actions. You cannot eliminate blame entirely if you are partly responsible for conflict. Taking responsibility will show the other person that you know what you did and are addressing it. In turn, the other person likely will admit mistakes too. While not taking responsibility for the entire situation, be specific for what you are responsible. Apologize using specific and valid reasons, leaving the rest of the conflict up to the other person to ponder. Explain your intentions and share the reason you believe the conflict occurred. Think of your reaction and words carefully during the conversation and avoid saying anything you do not mean. Figuring out what words are triggering the response to blame you will help to eliminate unnecessary blame from future conflicts.

Confront the other person if you honestly feel you were not the reason for the conflict. Let him know that you emphasize with how he feels and explain your innocence in the situation. Find out exactly why it is he is blaming you and explain yourself accordingly. Sometimes actions are misinterpreted, and once he sees this, he will likely see that you are not the person he needs to blame.

Remain indifferent next time she comes to you with a problem. Try not to give her advice that may come back on you. Let her know that you support her regardless of her decision in the conflict, but do not tell her step-by-step on how to resolve it. In that case, if the resolution fails, she may feel as if you are to blame. Try to remain outside of the situation as much as possible so you will not be associated with it. Sometimes the person with a conflict just needs a listening ear, so there is usually no need to get involved at all. If asked for your opinion, agree with her about her opinions or actions on the subject. Do not disregard or ignore her or avoid the conflict altogether. This may leave her feeling unwanted, unneeded or hurt, in general.

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