How to Deal With an Ex You Still Care About After You Have Moved On

No matter how it ends, a breakup is tough to deal with, especially if it wasn't necessarily on bad terms. Whether the two of you mutually agreed that things weren't working or you were honest and told him you didn't have romantic feelings for him, you could still genuinely care about the person. If you have moved on but still want to stay friends or remain in contact with your ex, it is possible, provided both parties adhere to platonic boundaries.

Instructions

Give it a few months. Whether or not the breakup was mutual, you both need time and distance from each other to process the situation and not to view yourselves as a couple. Give yourself time to be sure you are fully over him before making attempts to contact him.

Reach out in a casual manner. Send him an email or a message on his social networking page simply asking how he is doing. Ask if he wants to meet and grab a bite to eat just to catch up. If he agrees to meet with you, arrange to get together in a casual place, such as a coffee shop during the day.

Don't bring up the past. Rehashing what when wrong just opens up old wounds and could give him the impression you are trying to work things out. Instead, talk about the things that the two of you share in common, such as favorite TV shows, sports or politics. If he responds to you positively, in a platonic manner, it's a safe bet that the two of you can become friends.

Establish boundaries with your ex. Under no circumstances should you flirt with him or give the impression that you are flirting. No excessive touching, either. Avoid too many "remember when we were together" conversations, which could lead to "what went wrong" and "maybe we should try again" conversations. Hang out with your ex with other people so it never feels like a date.

Accept it if your ex doesn't want to be friends. Just because you still care and want to be friends doesn't mean that he feels the same way. He might be really hurt by the breakup, or he might not feel comfortable remaining friends with an ex. He might need more time and come around in the future. If he doesn't respond to you when you reach out, wish him the best and leave him alone. Otherwise, he could think you are trying to get back with him if you keep calling and emailing. If you are dating someone else, introduce him to your ex so that he knows that your ex knows you truly only see him as a friend, and be happy for him if you meet his new girlfriend.

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