How to Stop Fights in a Relationship

Maybe you can't stand that he plays his video games 24/7. Or, maybe she gets on your last nerves taking three hours to get ready to go anywhere. Whatever the case may be, when you reach your breaking point, the two of you wind up in one big fight, yelling at each other and not letting the other get a word in edgewise. Nothing is going to be resolved by yelling. Instead, learn to take a moment to calm down and try to have a constructive conversation where the two of you can come to a compromise that will make you both happy.

Instructions

Walk away to cool down. According to Dr. Jennifer Baker, contributor to "Cosmopolitan" magazine, you need at least 30 minutes to yourself to calm down. When you are not so angry, you can think about the problem rationally and be more willing to see your partner's point of view.

Adjust your body language. Don't come back into the conversation with an attitude, because your partner will feel like you still don't care and will also cop an attitude. Instead, stand or sit so that your whole body is facing her directly, and give her direct eye contact. This lets her know that you are engaged and sincerely want to listen to what she has to say.

Let your partner know that you understand what he is saying. Repeat back to him his point of view, and make it clear that you understand from where he is coming. This lets him know that you are validating his point.

Explain calmly that you feel differently then she does. Explain your point of view and why you feel that way. Ask her if she understands how you feel about the situation.

Try to find compromise. It may not be easy, but if you can give an inch, he will give an inch. If the problem is that you take too long to get ready, for example, tell him that you will try take no more than an hour, as long as you have advance notice of your plans. In turn, see if he is willing to cut down his video game time to a specific time in the day, no more than two hours.

Apologize for anything mean-spirited you may have said during the argument. You didn't mean it, but you need to make that clear to your partner, and try to avoid such low-blows in the future.

Kiss and make up. The best part of having an argument is making up, so go ahead and break the tension by planting a big kiss on her or by being silly and making her laugh. Laughter is a great way to transition from an argument and remember why the two of you love each other in the first place.

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