Cures for a Broken Heart

A broken heart can't be cured overnight. If you invested enough in a relationship to cause real pain when it ends, then it takes an equal amount of investment to heal those wounds. The most pertinent factor is time: the more distance between you and the old relationship, the less pain your broken heart will feel. In the meantime, you can adopt a few sensible strategies to help alleviate the distress and allow yourself the space to grow.

Don't bottle up your tears just because they hurt. Don't repress your anger until you lash out needlessly. And while some people may assign a timetable to when you "should get better," you can't measure a broken heart in such impersonal ways. Give yourself permission to mourn, to cry and to get the negative emotions out of you. Look for a trusted friend or family member you can vent to when you need to. Be patient with yourself and know that it may take some time. It's hard enough without beating yourself up simply for feeling sad.

Following a break-up, you may be tempted to try to contact your ex or vice versa. If your heart has been broken, that's usually not a good idea. Resist the desire to contact them or find out about them in any way. Don't respond to phone calls or emails, and don't send any of your own. Box up any photos or other reminders of your ex, and store them out of the way in the garage or basement. You may want to look at them again sometime way down the road, but for now, they're just painful reminders. Above all, don't second guess the decision. The more cleanly you can make the break, the more quickly your broken heart will heal.

When your heart is broken, it's very important to stay optimistic. Isolation and lengthy periods of time alone can play havoc on your psyche, leading you to get down on yourself and wallow in the pain. Make an effort to get out and spend time with your friends. Call up an old college pal who you haven't talked to in awhile or take a trip to visit your parents. Even during periods when you're alone, you can take steps to get outdoors and explore the world. Treat yourself to an ice cream cone some sunny day, or begin an exercise regimen -- preferably something in the sunlight or at a popular gym with a lot of people. By staying connected with the world in such a manner, you remind yourself that there's so much more to it than just your former relationship.

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