How to Deal With Your Partner Being More Successful Than You

According to a 2010 report by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, a dramatic rise in the number of women participating in the workforce has occurred over the past 40 years. The amount of women with a college degree has also more than tripled, from 11 to 36 percent in that time. These changes can create tension in relationships between romantically-involved men and women, particularly if he expects to be more successful than her solely because of gender. Knowing how to deal with this tension and adjust your expectations can help keep your relationship healthy.

Instructions

Discuss how you feel or how you think your partner feels in a relaxed, nonthreatening way. Select a time when you two can talk uninterrupted. Avoid being defensive or angry. Try not to use words like always and never during your conversation; for example, avoid statements like You never want me to get ahead in my career. or You always make me feel like Im not as good as you whenever you talk about work.

Strive to want advancement for yourself and your partner. Realize that your career advancement is not dependent on your partners success or failure. View yourself as independent when it comes to work and focus your energy not on resenting your partner but doing what you can to get ahead at work.

Ask your partner what he thinks you can do to be more successful. Listen to his response and implement any tips, advice or suggestions he gives. Remember that he can be your advocate and not your enemy.

Make a list of practical things you can do to make yourself more successful instead of thinking about how much you wish you had your partners success. Avoid indulging feelings of injustice by not allowing yourself to believe its unfair for your partner to be more successful than you. Consider things like going back to school, job shadowing at work, joining local networking groups or developing specific skills as items on your list.

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