How to Live With a Selfish Mate

Living with a selfish mate is difficult, uncomfortable and upsetting. While you are in a relationship with this person, you may feel trapped in a living situation that you cannot change for now. A selfish mate may demand that he gets his way, manipulate you into doing what he wants or control every aspect of your living situation. While it is difficult to know what to do, there are a few things you can do that make living with a selfish mate easier.

Instructions

Figure out your own boundaries. Figuring out what exactly your mate is doing that is driving you crazy will help you determine boundaries for your living situation. If she always wants the T.V. on but you need peace and quiet to sleep, make note of this. If she always wants to dictate what is for dinner and how the money gets spent, write this down, too. Writing it out will help clear your mind and sort your thoughts when it comes to what you are struggling with.

Talk to your mate about the bothersome behaviors you have noted. After you have written down what it is your mate is doing that is stressing you, talk to him about it. Oftentimes communication will solve many problems and break many barriers. Since your mate is selfish, stand up for your rights and let him know that his behavior is not acceptable. Exercising your right to boundaries and limitations will demonstrate your assertiveness and may change the way your mate looks at you.

Avoid too much interaction. Being around your selfish mate may be dragging you down and wearing you out. Go out of your way to avoid being around her too often. This may mean having a designated escape, such as a friend who can pick you up at any time, or a place to go where you can be alone. Too much contact with your mate may complicate the problem unnecessarily.

Seek a way out if conditions do not improve. If you have talked to your mate and he still does not want to listen to you or change his behavior, seek a way out. This may be difficult or even impossible, but if your mate will not consider your feelings and change his ways, you are left with a dead-end relationship. If you have any very close friends, explain your situation and see if any of them would be willing to let you stay with them for a while. You may also want to stay with family members until you find a permanent solution and your own place to live.

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