How to Communicate When You're Mad at Your Boyfriend

Learning to communicate in a calm and reasonable manner when you're angry can help you avoid unnecessary arguments in your relationship. Communication is often an issue in relationships, and many different websites offer advice on communication within a relationship. Good communication is about openly discussing your thoughts and feelings regarding a situation, hopefully without succumbing to anger and raising your voice. Learning the ways in which men and women communicate differently and understanding the underlying reasons behind your anger is a good idea if you want to communicate clearly when you're angry.

Instructions

Determine what you are really mad about. This may seem like a simple task, but it often requires some honest soul-searching. For example, if you are annoyed because your boyfriend is coming home from work late, you need to determine whether it's the lateness that bothers you or the fact that your father was always late from work and he was cheating on your mother. Think clearly about precisely what facet of the issue is annoying you. If you find that you are really annoyed because of something in your past and the fear it might happen again, you can communicate that instead of misplaced anger.

Choose a suitable time to have a serious conversation. Talk to him during the weekend if he works in the week and is stressed out in the evenings. Wait until he is well rested and in a content mood to initiate the conversation, and start the conversation at home. Ask a "warm-up" question such as "How do you feel today?" to ease you both into the conversation.

Explain what is bothering you in a calm and clear manner. Be honest when explaining the problem. If you have realized that you are really afraid of him leaving you for somebody else, don't act angry at him for coming home late. Instead, explain the actual reason you are upset or angry. For example, tell him that when he comes home late, it makes you feel like he might be unfaithful to you. Explain that you know it's unreasonable, but you are insecure because of something in your past.

Listen to what he says in response. Remember that men are often prone to offering solutions to problems when you may not be looking for one. Have patience if he tries to do this, because he is only trying to help the situation in his own way. Realize that men often talk only to give information. This means that if he doesn't respond much, it generally doesn't mean anything is wrong; it could merely mean that he doesn't have much information to report.

Don't raise your voice when you respond to him. Even if for any reason he begins to raise his voice, stay calm. If the conversation turns into a shouting match, nothing of any value is going to come of it. Reply to him in a calm, honest fashion, and openly talk through any issues you're having. Work out how you are both feeling about the situation and take steps to come to a compromise you can both agree on.

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