The Effects of Gender Roles in a Relationship

Gender roles can play a large part in a relationship. These roles can determine how a household is run, who the main decision maker is and also the health of the relationship itself. If two partners don't see eye to eye on what each person's gender role should be, this could lead to a unhappy relationship.

According to MSN.com, most couples fall into distinct gender roles once they're past the initial, exciting months of dating. Sometimes they won't define gender roles until after marriage. At the start of a relationship, couples tend to do everything together, rarely splitting up the tasks. To gender-role-proof your relationship before your views become a problem, discuss each other's expectations when you feel that the relationship is taking a turn for the more serious.

Some men and women grown up in traditional homes and expect their own homes to follow the same pattern. For example, it's common for men to feel that the woman in the relationship should be responsible for cooking, cleaning and raising their children. It's common for woman who are used to traditional roles to expect the man in the relationship to make more money and pay for the things they do together, plus fix things around the house and make most big decisions. When both people do not agree to these roles, conflict ensues.

Regardless of how people grew up, they may form their own, new ideas of gender roles in relationships. A girl who grew up seeing her housewife mother have dinner on the table for her husband every night at 6 p.m. may hate to cook herself. It's important to be honest about what you feel your own role is.

Some arguments come to a standstill when one or both people feel that their opinion is not only correct, but that all members of their own gender would agree with them. While this may not be necessarily true, it still feels true to the person in the relationship. If both people feel this way, it will be incredibly difficult for either one of them to see the other one's side.

It's important to stay flexible in your view of gender roles for the sake of your relationship. You may need to perform certain tasks that you're not used to doing or that you never expected to do. On the same note, your spouse should expect to do the same. Relationships are ultimately about compromise. However, if two people in a couple simply cannot agree on gender roles and it seems to be severely impacting the relationship, it may be best to seek the help of a professional counselor.

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