Perfectionists are people who place excessive importance on their high personal standards. When they make mistakes or miss the standards by even a little bit, they feel like failures. They don't enjoy the strive for excellence and when scoring a 98% on a test, they will focus on the 2% mistake instead of the 98% that was correct.
Instructions
Dating a Perfectionist
- 1
Make sure your partner really is a perfectionist. Someone who demands perfection from his or her partner and feels entitled to yell or withdraw based on the partner's lack of perfection is not a perfectionist; that person is controlling and potentially abusive. Avoid dating him/her at all.
2Focus on her personality, not her achievements. Perfectionists attach their self-worth to their achievements, so make it clear to your date that you value her for herself, not her fancy title or big bank account.
3Look for relaxing activities. Perfectionists tend to focus on goals instead of fun while doing their hobbies, such as being unhappy and depressed about a loss in a friendly game of tennis. Look for activities like watching a sunset or reading books to each other that don't lend themselves to "achievement."
4Talk about it. You can't undo years of perfectionism by being a good date, but you can help your date focus on things besides achievement. If you play golf together, focus on how much you enjoyed her company rather than how well she did.
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