Miscommunication can sideline a relationship with assumptions and offenses based on a misunderstanding. Once someone's feelings are hurt, however, it ceases to be about being right or wrong. To restore the harmony in your relationship, decide to take a mature approach. Apologize, take responsibility for your part in the miscommunication, and let her know what you learned from the experience.
Instructions
- 1
Apologize, even if you feel you didn't do anything wrong. Communication is a two-way street. If you -- as the communicator -- were misunderstood, this indicates that something may be lacking in the way you presented the message. Let her know you never meant to hurt her with what you said.
2Take accountability. Your knee-jerk reaction may be to blame her for overreacting or taking what you meant to say the wrong way. Take this opportunity to learn how to be a more effective communicator.
3Acknowledge her feelings without dismissing their validity. Even if you didn't mean to hurt her feelings, they were still hurt. Without acknowledging this, your apology will feel patronizing. Listen to what she has to say about what she is feeling, and give it the value it deserves.
4Leave out the "but." Excuses won't serve your case at this point. Once the damage is done, how you got to that place ceases to matter as much as how you will move forward.
5Let her know what you learned from the situation so you will not repeat the mistake in the future. If you learned, for instance, that some flip comment you made triggered some deeper, hidden insecurity, let her know that you know now to be more sensitive.
6Simply ask for her forgiveness. Saying that you are sorry is only the first step; she has to actually forgive you for your relationship to move forward.
7Tell her that you want to work through and learn from the miscommunication rather than let it come between you. Sincerity is key, so ask her what you can do to make things better to show your willingness to go beyond the "sorry" and truly make up for the mistake.
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