Advice for Single Mothers Reentering the Dating World

Dating can be a difficult endeavor for anyone. Trying to find someone who shares your interests, is attractive, finds you attractive, is fun to be with and shares your goals is not simple. For a single mother, dating can be even more difficult. Not only do you need to find someone whom you're compatible with---they also need to be a person who likes your child and whom your child likes.

Approach the dating world with your eyes wide open. You don't need to find a father for your child. Many single mothers survive just fine without a significant other in their lives. Don't force it. Know that it's OK for you to date just for fun (and, regardless of what others may say, you can even date just for sex). Remember that this is your life, not your friends', your parents' or your child's.

It's important to be upfront about your child or children with potential suitors. Even though you may not be looking for a long-term relationship, you never know what might develop. You don't want to suddenly tell someone you've been dating for a while that you have a child---it will undermine your trustworthiness. Also, you don't want to invest a lot of time in a guy who just isn't suited to deal with children.

At the same time, it's not necessary to introduce every man you date to your child. Hire a reliable babysitter and wait until you're in a real relationship to introduce your boyfriend to your child. You also don't want to force a parenting role on your boyfriend until he's ready for it.

When first dating someone new, limit how much you talk about your children. Men know how most mothers feel about their kids, but that doesn't mean they want to hear about it all night long. A date should be a date.

As a single mother, there are even more hardships with dating. You do have to consider your child when making relationship decisions, and these considerations may need to override your personal feelings or the feelings of your child.

It's quite possible that you may date someone who seems perfect for you but whom your child is resistant to. Give your child time. If your beau and kid just can't mix, you may need to call off the relationship.

On the flip side, your child may love your boyfriend, but your relationship with him may falter. It's not unusual for single mothers to stay in relationships "for the sake of the kids." This is rarely a good idea when two people are married and even less so when they're simply dating.

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