Trust is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, without which the relationship is likely to be extremely stressful. There are many books and articles offering advice on regaining broken trust, however, the underlying cause of the broken trust needs to be established in order to properly deal with the situation. Without identifying the cause, issues are likely to be bottled up, only to resurface again at a later date.
Infidelity
Infidelity comes in many forms; a drunken kiss, a one night stand or a full blown affair. There are also a number of different reasons a person may stray, such as boredom, immaturity and poor judgment. Whatever the reason, cheating shows a lack of respect for your partner and once she discovers the infidelity, trust will break down. Even a drunken kiss can leave your partner thinking you will do the same thing whenever you go out, and the lying involved in having an affair is likely to make your partner feel you may not be telling the truth about anything, ever.
Past Experiences
In some cases, a lack of trust in your partner can stem from issues relating to past experiences. This could be a previous partner's infidelity, or a deeper issue such as childhood abuse. Issues such as these can lead a person to feel she cannot trust anyone and expect the same behavior from everyone. According to Head Cleaners, it is normal to feel a sense of shame, to believe that the bad things that happened to you were somehow your fault and that you must have deserved it. You may not wish to talk about these experiences at all, but the only way to really address these problems is to talk to your partner and even attend counseling sessions.
Low Self-Esteem
Feelings of low self-esteem can effect men and women equally and can be caused by past experiences, or a person's own harsh judgment upon themselves. According to At Health, depression, ill health, phobias, anxiety and psychosis are all contributing factors towards low self-esteem. If you think poorly about yourself, then you will also expect others to think poorly of you. You may find yourself asking "Why would he love someone like me?" or "What on earth does she see in me?" This can result in a lack of trust in your partner and is something that needs addressing, possibly with professional help.
Outsiders
In a relationship, everyone apart from yourself and your partner is an outsider, even close friends and family. Often, a simple passing comment can be passed around and embellished until terrible rumors are flying. For example, "I saw John and Sarah last week," can lead to "John and Sarah are spending a lot of time together," and end up with "I hear John and Sarah are having an affair." This type of interference can be completely innocent, or maybe someone has his eye on your partner and wants to split you up. Either way, always talk to your partner about it and take rumors with a pinch of salt.
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