If you've fallen in love with the person who you consider your best friend, but the feelings aren't mutual and you need to move on, you're facing a heartbreaking, difficult situation. Getting over any type of breakup or rejection is difficult, especially if you feel that you're partially responsible for things going south. While it may be difficult and lengthy, there are a few tactics you can try to move past your pain and on with your life.
Instructions
- 1
Assess your relationship and friendship. Take an honest look at your situation and determine who is responsible for each problem you experienced. This will help you understand why things turned out the way they did, and you'll also be at the start of eventually forgiving yourself for any mistakes you made. Most importantly, you'll learn to not repeat the same mistakes in the future.
2Cut off contact with him--at least for now. This may seem like a double blow, since you're not only losing a love but also a friend, at least temporarily. However, it's necessary to make a clean break. That means that you shouldn't talk to him, text, message him on Facebook, e-mail or hang out with him, even if you're in a group of people. You should also avoid the places where you know you may run into him.
3Lean on your friends, as long as they're not mutual friends. You'll need a support system right now, so recruit your friends and family members to help you cope. However, since you and your love are in the same social circle, you'll want to depend on people who are separate from your friendship with your ex. Instead of putting your mutual friends in a sticky position and making people feel like they need to choose sides, lean on a completely different set of people for support.
4Engage in activities and behavior that make you feel better about yourself, not that contribute to your pain. While it's temping to self-medicate with fatty foods, alcohol and even drugs, you'll just be digging yourself a deeper hole that you're eventually have to climb out of. Instead, surround yourself with things you love to see, read and listen to, and force yourself to do things that you love.
5Allow yourself the necessary time it will take to heal completely. There's no need to feel like you shouldn't be mourning a breakup. Instead, be patient with yourself and go through the range of emotions that are inevitable. Covering up your feelings will only guarantee that they rear their ugly heads later on. Don't wallow and obsess, but don't pretend you're fine when you're not there yet either.
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