How to End an Addictive Relationship

If you feel that you need your partner in order to be happy, feel insecure in your relationship but even more insecure when you consider ending it, or know that your relationship is unhealthy but still feel stuck, you are in an addictive relationship. Like any addiction, an addictive relationship can be difficult to end, and may even require professional help.

Instructions

Recognize the simple fact that no matter how much you want a person to change, you cannot control other human beings or force them to change. If you find yourself stuck in a relationship while telling yourself that your partner will change with time and personal effort, it is time to come to the realization that it is simply not possible. By allowing yourself to give up the battle of forcing someone else to change, you may just loosen the chain that keeps you in an addictive relationship.

Watch out for relationship games in which you place yourself in dangerous roles that can be hard to get out of. If you find yourself in a relationship in which you feel you are rescuing or helping your partner, if you are blaming your partner for all of the relationship problems, or if you feel that you are a victim, you have fallen into a relationship game. The only thing that you can do to end the relationship and free yourself from the role is to admit that only you have control over your life choices, therefore only you can choose to become free or continue in a role that is detrimental to your well-being.

Have the courage to face your problems and faults on your own, recognizing that being in a relationship does not justify, cover up or eliminate your own personal problems. Any feelings of insecurity or doubt within yourself should be accepted and overcome outside of a relationship. Often by accepting ourselves for who we are is all we need to feel strong enough to end a relationship which deep down we know is addictive and harmful.

Bring out your better side by taking all the time you need for yourself. You might explore your spirituality, a hobby, join a club, volunteer or go back to school. Whatever you choose, finding a passion can help to put you back on solid ground and give you the confidence and independence that you need to finally put an end to an addictive relationship.

Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences in any way possible. This can be as simple as keeping a journal or talking to a close friend or might even include joining a group of others like you. Opening up is a great way to get a reality check and find the security to do what you know is best for both you and your partner.

Seek professional help if you are in an addictive and abusive relationship, if you are afraid, if you feel extremely depressed and lonely or if you find yourself in a continuing cycle of addictive relationships. Mental health professionals are trained to help you through the addiction by getting to the root of the problem so that you might enjoy a truly healthy relationship in the future.

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