Sweet Things to Earn Forgiveness From Your Girlfriend

Earning forgiveness when you've wronged your girlfriend is an important step in healing your relationship. Your method can be sweet, even a little corny, so long as you state it sincerely and back it up with behavior that reinforces the apology. Refrain from buying anything that is obviously expensive -- it looks like you are trying to buy her forgiveness -- and focus instead on sweet and simple actions that come from a humbled heart.

You've said that you're sorry dozens of times, but your girlfriend still doesn't believe that you are sincere. Stop talking, pick up a piece of paper and write her a letter of apology. Use a greeting card or a sheet of stationery, but choose something nicer than a sheet of ruled binder paper. In the letter, apologize for your actions and validate your partner's feelings. Don't make excuses for your behavior and don't try to shift the blame to your girlfriend. Outline how you plan to keep from repeating this offense in the future, and apologize again for hurting her. Tell her how important she is to you, but avoid hyperbole and overly-sweet flattery -- it will simply appear that you are trying to smooth-talk your way out of trouble. Tuck the note under her pillow or in her purse, then give her space and time to process your apology. The more space you give her, the more likely it is that she will forgive you.

A bouquet of roses is the stand-by for birthdays, dates and anniversaries, but asking forgiveness deserves something with thought behind it. A beau in Victorian England would send his beloved a message in the flowers he chose for her bouquet, as Hugh Jackman did in the romantic drama "Kate and Leopold." Take a cue from Hugh and visit a florist's shop to build an apology bouquet. Purple hyacinths mean "I'm sorry," as do striped carnations. Red carnations say that your heart is pained by her absence, but purple irises declare the faith of your love. Red tulips ask her to believe you, and sweet William begs her to give you just one smile. Tie the bouquet with a ribbon in her favorite color, then leave it on her doorstep with a note that deciphers the message in the flowers.

If you can't find the words to say how sorry you are for hurting your girlfriend, let music speak for you. Make a mix CD of music that speaks of love, forgiveness and hope. Include songs that have been meaningful to you both throughout the course of your relationship, and end the CD with songs that speak to your strength as a couple. Use permanent markers to write a note of apology on the front of the CD.

Forgiving someone requires emotional distance from the offense, but sometimes a little physical distance can help the healing process. Schedule a weekend get-away for you and your girlfriend, taking on every responsibility from paying for dinner to booking the hotel room. Show that you are trustworthy and dependable, and take time to re-connect as a couple. A long walk in a new place lets you discover new sites and experiences as you build new memories together. Let some time elapse between your offense and the trip to let tempers cool and dialogue begin. You two can spend less of the trip focusing on past offenses and more on moving forward with your relationship.

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