How to Help My Depressed Boyfriend

Depression can have an unhealthy effect on relationships, causing stress or worry for both parties, not just the depressed individual. If your boyfriend is depressed, you may wonder what options are available to help him overcome this mental health crisis. Despite your good intentions, however, it's crucial to note that ultimately your boyfriend must take responsibility for his health. Assuming responsibility for his return to good health may cause feelings of guilt or inadequacy if you're unable to persuade him to seek medical attention.

Instructions

Stop saying, "Snap out of it," or statements intended to spark action from your boyfriend. True depression is a clinical condition, not a case of sulking or moping with the curtains closed. Instead, present yourself as always being approachable for conversation or his confidences. For example, you might say, "I can't help but notice how you've stopped going to school and work. If there's something wrong, I want you to know that you can always talk with me about it."

Ask your boyfriend if he'd consider going to a doctor. Because of cultural concerns, some men may feel uncomfortable going to a doctor to discuss crying jags or feelings of sadness. Focus on getting help for more neutral symptoms of depression, including insomnia, aches and pains, or fatigue. Depending on your boyfriend's comfort level, you can offer to visit the doctor together -- or offer to remain in the car or outside bench for less-intrusive support.

Contact a few key members of your boyfriend's inner circle, which might include a trusted best friend, sibling or parent. Explain your concerns and ask for their feedback. They might have suggestions for persuading him to seek medical help, or step up their friendly phone calls and visits to remind him that he's loved. Choose your words carefully; prickly loved ones may feel defensive if you're newer to the relationship or they don't know you very well. For example, say, "I would never dream of sharing Robert's personal problems with you except that I'm seriously concerned for his health. I hope I haven't crossed any boundaries, but I know how much he loves you. Maybe you can suggest that he seek help."

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