Rudeness may stem from ignorance, anger, insecurity or hate. As one of the most important people in your boyfriend's life and likely as someone who knows him well, you are in an ideal position to determine why he is being rude and to help him change. However, do not let concern for him lead you to be incautious --- rudeness may be a sign that he needs help or reassurance, but it may also be a sign that he is at the first stages of becoming abusive.
Instructions
- 1
Listen for spite or hatred in his speech pattern or forcefulness in his voice or pitch when he is being rude. Is your boyfriend being rude because he is feeling insecure or nervous, or because he enjoys being hateful? Consider seriously about breaking up with him if you think hatefulness is making him rude, because that could be a future warning sign of abusive behavior.
2Choose a private time and place to discuss his rude behavior and its effect on you. Talk to him about your dislike of his rude behavior; discuss specific instances when you have found him to be rude.
3Ask him to be less rude in the future --- not only as a favor to you but for himself --- because rudeness is unacceptable. Let him know that you feel hurt, embarrassed or upset when he becomes rude.
4Watch for signs that he is attempting to keep himself from being rude in the future.
5Consider breaking up with him if he continues to be rude and makes no sign to stop himself. If he is unwilling to change his behavior, he may not be kind enough to be a good boyfriend to you.
6Recommend that he seek counseling, behavior modification therapy or anger management classes if he seems to want to keep from being rude but he cannot do so. Offer to accompany him to the therapy sessions, if that will make him feel more comfortable.
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