Breaking up with someone is hardly ever an easy task. In fact, the longer you're with someone, the messier and more emotional the separation tends to get. Things get even more complicated when you're trying to get out of a relationship with someone you live with, since you will suddenly need a place to stay and will have to divide up the possessions you accumulated with the other person. There are a number of factors to keep in mind when ending a relationship with someone you live with, but if you stay strong and do a little planning ahead, the separation can be successfully accomplished.
Instructions
- 1
Think about why you want to separate from your mate before you make your final decision to break up and leave. Think about your mate's behavior, the relationship as a whole, and if there is any way to change what you don't like and make things better. If you ultimately decide to get out of the relationship, have some reasons you can provide him with, as he will undoubtedly ask, "Why?".
2Stay strong in your decision to leave. If the separation isn't mutual, the other person might do anything she can to get you to stay -- cry, beg, swear she'll change, and make an endless amount of promises. Staying committed to your decision to separate will show her that you really mean it and that it's what you really want. Being wishy-washy in your emotions may convey to your partner that you haven't fully made up your mind, and may allow her to convince you to stay in the relationship.
3Remove your most cherished possessions from your home before you announce the break-up. While some people will remain mature and civil during a separation, others can resort to immature, childish or even violent behavior due to their overwhelming feelings of hurt and abandonment. Remove the possessions that mean the most to you, such as heirlooms and expensive electronics, to ensure they don't get broken or destroyed by the other person. Moving your things out ahead of time will allow you to not have to come back to get them later.
4Divide up your other possessions with your partner. When you're in a relationship -- especially one in which you cohabitate with someone -- you're both bound to accumulate possessions, or even pets, that you got together. Try to amicably decide who gets what.
5Avoid arguing, blaming and getting emotional. Breaking up is a difficult and painful process as it is, and it's only made worse when people, mostly out of sadness and anger, start name-calling, pointing fingers and fighting. Refuse to be party to any such behavior, and remain as calm and composed as you can. If you both can remain civil, your break-up should be relatively clean.
6Don't continue to live with the person after you break up. Though money may be tight, continuing to cohabitate will only give your ex-partner the feeling that you are not completely ready to break up and that you don't really mean it when you say that you want out of the relationship. Get your own place, and avoid returning to your former home unless you absolutely have to.
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