Tuesday, April 30, 2019
How to Behave if You've Slept With him on the First Date & Want to See him Again
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Keys to Surviving Work After a Breakup
Just about everyone has experienced the end of a romantic relationship. Depending on the length of the relationship, this can be a major life change. But while it may be tempting to spend all of your time grieving, moving on requires that you focus your energy on aspects other than your personal life. Redirecting your energy to professional goals and returning to work may be just what you need to get back into the rhythm of things.
Start Your Day With Positivity
Breakups can take a negative toll on your self-esteem and self-confidence, but beginning each day by listening to uplifting songs can help push you through the day with the positivity you need. Also keep in mind that it doesn't hurt to dance along. Physical activity is a great way to boost your mood and give you energy throughout the day.
Give Yourself a Break
It's understandable that you may become sad throughout the work day as memories of your ex cross your mind. Schedule 15-minute breaks from work to deal with your emotions and return to work with a clear head. If your work is appointment based, schedule fewer appointments throughout the day so that you have time to compose yourself when you feel you cannot control your emotions.
Stay on Task
Stay focused on your work. Keep yourself on task by setting professional goals every morning. Focusing on these goals throughout the day will keep your mind busy and distract you from your personal turmoil.
Leave Your Breakup at Home
The only way that work can be an escape from the personal chaos of dealing with a breakup is if you do not bring the breakup to the office with you. Unless your co-workers are close friends, don't discuss the details of your relationship with them. Doing so may force you to talk about it throughout the day and prevent you from focusing on work. It may also create an environment that is uncomfortable or awkward.
Commiserate at Home
Commiserating with friends after a breakup is perfectly normal. But make sure you do this at home. Text messages and phone calls at work can upset you and ruin your productivity for the day. If you need to talk to your friends or your ex, wait until after work to do it.
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Friday, April 26, 2019
How to Make Him Realize He's Hurting You
Your spouse or loved one may say things in anger. They may hurt your feelings by accident, or even intentionally. The best way to handle hurtful behavior is with honest communication and a self-evaluation of your relationship.
Instructions
- 1
Mentally prepare for a discussion about hurtful behavior. Expect that your partner may have a difficult reaction to your revelations. He may be defensive, angry, or scared. Mentally rehearsing the discussion and his possible reactions will prepare you for the real thing.
2Find a safe public place to discuss your issues. This makes it easier to keep tempers in check and words cordial.
3Explain to your partner exactly how he has hurt you, using phrases like "I feel..." and "When this happens..." Using phrases like "You are so..." or "When you..." may make your partner defensive, hindering honest discourse. Remain calm and explain things from your perspective, without blame or accusatory language.
4Agree on rules and the consequences for breaking them. If you are hurt because your mate speaks ill of your family, tell him that comments about them should only be positive or neutral. If your partner has strayed romantically and you value monogamy, tell him that you will stay in the relationship only if he is faithful. Then establish consequences for his hurtful behavior. Perhaps violations mean the end of the relationship, or an agreement to seek therapy. The rules and consequences are yours to decide and relay.
5Follow through. This is one of the most important steps and cannot be avoided or skipped. If you establish rules with your mate, you must follow through with the consequences. This means that his violation of the rules will not result in a reprieve, but a punishment. If you establish rules and then allow them to be broken, you will only reinvigorate and encourage hurtful behavior.
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Thursday, April 25, 2019
How to Avoid Rebound Relationships After Divorce
You're finally divorced and you think you're ready to move on, but you've heard about rebound relationships. You may be worried that you'll end up in one, but you're not sure how to avoid it or even what to look for. A good rule of thumb is to think of your old relationship in terms of grief, and make sure you've overcome the emotional steps of dealing with loss before you enter a new relationship. Think of your emotions as a wound, and that your emotions need time to heal just as much as an actual cut would.
Instructions
Give Yourself Time
- 1
Denying that the old relationship is over is the first step of grieving for it. If you're still thinking of yourself as half of a married couple and keep saying to yourself "This isn't really happening to me", you haven't moved on enough to start a new relationship.
2Feeling angry about your old relationship is the next sign. If you're often saying "Why me?" and "This isn't fair!", then you're ripe for a rebound relationship so hold off getting involved with someone new.
3Bargaining with yourself is the next stage you need to complete before your old relationship is healed. If you seem to be making deals with yourself such as, "I promise I won't yell as much, if we can get back together", then you're still too attached to your old partner to start with a new one.
4Moping around and feeling depressed is another stage of coping with the grief of an ended relationship. If you find yourself glum all the time and have a hard time coping, you're in this step of your healing process and should wait to enter a serious relationship.
5Acceptance of your status as a single person rather than feeling like half of an invisible couple is the sign that your emotions have healed enough from your divorce and you're ready to enter a new relationship without fear of rebound.
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