Sunday, September 30, 2018

Tips on How to Deal With a Breakup

Tips on How to Deal With a Breakup

When you begin a relationship with someone new, you are often overcome with positive feelings about it. Despite what these initial feelings lead you to believe, all relationships develop problems over time. Sometimes the problems are minimal and don't mean anything but the occasional harmless argument, but other times they bring out irreconcilable differences, ultimately ending in a breakup. This is a heartbreaking experience for everyone, but there are ways to make the healing process easier.

Know It's Over

    The time right after a breakup is especially painful, but it's critical to face the facts instead of holding on to false hope. You may save yourself some small amount of grief initially if you convince yourself the relationship isn't necessarily over for good, but in the long run you are only hurting yourself more. It may hurt worse at first, but ultimately you will speed up your emotional recovery significantly if you take a realistic viewpoint on the breakup from the beginning.

Get Support

    The end of a relationship does not mean the end of living, and everyone in your life will gladly remind you of that fact if you are willing to turn to them in your time of need. You may feel the need to spend time alone after a hard breakup, isolating yourself from others and grieving alone. While some time to yourself may benefit you, don't forget that you have people in your life, like your friends and family, who are more than happy to help you get through the tough time.

Develop New Interests

    Don't see a breakup exclusively as an end; it's also a chance to start anew. Chances are you have extra time for yourself after the end of a relationship, so spend it productively instead of mourning over your loss. Start exercising regularly, read books about a subject that you have always wanted to know more about, or pick up a challenging new, mentally stimulating hobby. Viewing the breakup as a fresh start in life helps to keep your mind focused on the positives of the future rather than the negatives of the past.

Say Goodbye

    When a loving relationships comes to an abrupt end, often there is not a chance to end it with a sense of closure. Part of your emotional pain may come from how the relationship ended rather than the simple fact that it ended. Perform a farewell ritual on your own that gives you an opportunity to make peace with the breakup, even if it's something as simple as lighting a candle and wishing your former significant other the best or throwing out old keepsakes from your relationship.



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Saturday, September 29, 2018

How to Get a Man to Tell You How He Feels

In many relationships, women are forthcoming with their feelings, while men tend to withhold their innermost thoughts. This is due to a difference in communication styles. Dr. Cynthia Torppa, of Ohio State University, points out that men are "experts in task accomplishment and addressing questions about facts," while women are good at "types of communication that build, maintain and strengthen relationships." These differences can often lead to misunderstandings and frustration between couples who are trying to communicate about an important issue.

Instructions

    1

    Establish an atmosphere of trust. In order to get a man to honestly tell you how he feels, you need to have a track record of listening to him in a nonjudgmental manner. You also need to control your own reactions. If he shares his feelings with you and you begin crying or fly off the handle, you can bet he won't be opening up again anytime soon. If your relationship does not have a history of emotional safety during discussions, you may want to pursue counseling to address problems that can arise when one partner withholds feelings.

    2

    Have patience, and do not try to force the issue. No one likes being told what to do, and this is particularly true in regard to communication. Do not expect a man to communicate about his feelings on demand. Nagging is spectacularly ineffective in this circumstance. Let him know that you're concerned about him and would like to know what's on his mind.

    3

    Go for a walk or a drive. Not having to make eye contact can open the door to communication about touchy subjects. Walking is especially good, because your partner will not feel trapped in the situation. It is also relaxing, and if you choose a nice trail, beautiful. Being in a pleasant environment that does not remind him of past conflicts can go a long way toward opening the doors of healthy communication.

    4

    Realize that men like to fix problems, not talk about them. In her podcast "Celebrating Men and Sex," relationship expert Leslie Rice points out that acting as man's "problem solver" can help him to open up. When discussing your man's feelings about a situation, be sure to encourage him to include ways that the situation can be fixed. This makes a man feel competent and in control. Meandering conversations about feelings that ultimately don't solve a problem can be a man's worst nightmare.

    5

    Don't be too serious. Most men hate being told, "Do you have a few minutes? I'd like to sit down and discuss something." Statements like this can evoke feelings of dread and immediately put a man on the defensive. Instead, use humor to diffuse tension, if appropriate. Taking a casual approach to communication can be much more effective.



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The Top 10 Signs That He's Into You

The Top 10 Signs That He's Into You

Is he into you? You may have your eye on a guy, and wonder how he feels about you. Is he just being friendly toward you or does he want to be more than just friends? While different guys do different things around girls in which they're interested, there are some telltale actions that most guys do when they like a girl.

He constantly smiles around you.

    If a guy frequently smiles around you, you may be the reason he's smiling. It's even better if he looks you in the eyes when he smiles. If you notice that his mood brightens up when you walk in the room, that's a good indicator of his feelings.

He compliments you frequently.

    If a guy is quick to compliment you, he's definitely noticing your positive traits. This is even more telling if he compliments you on unique and special things, such as your talent or your heart; such comments are heartfelt.

He asks you questions about yourself.

    If a guy asks you several questions about yourself, he wants to get to know you better. He also may be trying to probe your interest in him.

He tries to get you alone.

    If a guy tries to get you alone, he wants to spend time getting to know you and you alone. He likely does not want any distractions around, or he might even want to reveal his feelings for you.

He brags a bit.

    If a guy brags a little around you, he's trying to show you that he's desirable. He may talk about what sports he's skilled at or awards he's won. Build him up if you want him to feel your appreciation, and maybe even make a move.

He tries to make you laugh.

    A guy who tries to make a girl laugh cares about her reactions to him. He wants to see if he has the ability to satisfy her and make her happy. Laugh at his jokes and give him a confidence boost.

He stands up for you.

    Standing up for a girl may be difficult or uncool, but if a guy defends you, he's disregarding other people's opinions and acting on his feelings for you. This is a particularly telling sign, since it shows that he's willing to sacrifice his reputation for you.

He looks you in the eyes for prolonged periods of time.

    If a guy constantly tries to catch your eye, he wants to connect with you and try to determine how you feel about him. A guy will look you in the eyes for a long period of time if he's interested.

He touches you while talking to you.

    A guy who touches you -- on your arm, hair or cheek, for example -- while talking to you is subconsciously expressing how he feels. A guy will attempt to be physically close to you if he likes you.

He makes a fool of himself in front of you.

    A guy who is into you will make a total fool of himself in front of you. He may do this by showing off or acting silly. You may think he's crazy, but he's actually just feeling high on adrenaline and his feelings for you.



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How to Survive an Emotional Affair After a Breakup

How to Survive an Emotional Affair After a Breakup

If you just broke up with your partner because he or she had an emotional affair with someone else, it can be painful and difficult not to think about the years you spent with this person, and it's also easy to become bitter for a long period of time. But with the support of good friends, relatives and your determination to survive this situation, it is possible to move on with your life.

Instructions

    1

    Avoid all contact with your ex. This is especially important. If you continue speaking with them, while you're still hurting and trying to heal from the breakup, it will only make things worse between you. Don't go near the ex's neighborhood, delete the their phone number from your contact list and stay away from her friends and relatives.

    2

    Don't beat yourself up about the situation. Instead, think about what went wrong in the relationship and resolve not to make similar choices when choosing your next partner. Also, don't blame yourself for your ex's emotional affair. In the end, it was him who did not treat you with the proper respect in the relationship.

    3

    Spend some time alone. Don't rush to start a new relationship. You're likely still emotionally drained from your previous relationship, and you may not be fully prepared to give of yourself totally to a new partner. Instead, get involved in productive activities such as volunteer work, camping, fishing, riding your bike in the park or taking a road trip in your car to another city.

    4

    Get support from family and friends. Talk with them about your difficulty moving on after the breakup, and discuss the pain you're feeling. Also listen carefully to the advice they give you, even if you don't think it's feasible at the moment. Understand that they're trying to help you recover and give you encouragement.



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Friday, September 28, 2018

South Jersey Singles Events

South Jersey Singles Events

With the responsibilities of work, school and family, it may be tough for singles to get out and meet people, let alone find that special someone with whom they can envision a future. Many events for singles in southern New Jersey are designed to help this population mix, mingle and potentially find love.

Lock and Key Events

    Lock and key parties are an interactive social event designed for South Jersey singles between the ages of 30 and 50. Each female guest is given a lock, and every male guest if given a key. The goal is for the men to match their keys with the corresponding locks. They earn prizes for matching the right key to the right lock.

    Lock and Key Events

    Corporate Offices

    8255 W. Sunrise Blvd., 111

    Plantation, FL 33322

    754-264-5109

    lockandkeyevents.com

7 In Heaven 7-Minute Speed Dating

    7 In Heaven 7-Minute Speed Dating is a fast-paced way to meet many singles in a short period of time. Before each event, guests relax and mingle by the bar with a complimentary drink. Once the event begins, the women take their seats at tables while the men circulate around the room in seven-minute intervals. Each new meeting is considered a date, and when the bell rings, the man must move on to his next date. The women keep scorecards on each guy to help them decide whether or not they want to follow up with that person. The scorecards are turned in at the end, and the host notifies the participants if someone is interested in speaking with them again.

    7 In Heaven Singles Events

    P.O. Box 138

    Lindenhurst, NY 11757

    631- 592-9804

    7-in-heaven.com

South Jersey Ski Club

    The South Jersey Ski Club, established in 1963, is South Jersey's premier adult ski, sport and social club. The club hosts a variety of events, including mixers and ski trips, for all members to meet and mingle in a non-threatening environment. General meetings are held every first and third Wednesday of each month at the Ramblewood Country Club in Mt. Laurel, New Jersey.

    Ramblewood Country Club

    200 Country Club Pkwy.

    Mt. Laurel, NJ 08054-2799

    856-235-2118

    sjskiclub.com



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