Tuesday, June 30, 2015

How to Deal With a Nagging Girlfriend

How to Deal With a Nagging Girlfriend

You may have the impression that your girlfriend feels that everything you do is wrong. This can sap your confidence and rob your relationship of joy and fun. Your girlfriend may be so angry and resentful that she is unaware of how destructive constant nagging can be. However, what one person may consider nagging may not look like that at all, to someone else. You may give your girlfriend reason to nag you. Some people may not even call it nagging; it depends on the circumstances. Nevertheless, this is not a good place for either of you be. You need to work hard to change your relationship.

Instructions

    1

    Try to break this destructive cycle by recognizing the pattern you and your girlfriend have fallen into. Ask her to sit down and talk to you. Tell her honestly that you feel that she nags you a lot, but avoid using that word. Reassure her also about the good things in your relationship, and how much you care for her --- if that is still the case.

    2

    Tell her how it makes you feel when she tells you about your inadequacies. If it makes you feel angry or victimized, tell her that. Ask her to tell you if there is an underlying reason why she is unhappy with you. This may be the case. it may be, for instance, that you are not working, or not looking for work. Instead of talking to you about this, she may be displacing her frustration by nagging about other things.

    3

    Review this situation, according to how your girfriend responds to your discussion. She may be shocked to realize how you feel, and you may see a change. Alternatively, she may completely refuse to recognize or regret her behavior. If this is the case, you may feel that your relationship is not working. If you both identify deeper issues, suggest couple counseling.



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Monday, June 29, 2015

How to React If an Ex-Boyfriend Asks One Out Again

Your reaction to your ex-boyfriend asking you out again will probably depend on the reasons why you broke up, the changes you've both made in your lives, your goals and how you honestly feel about his suggestion. Stay true to your convictions and don't let emotion or loneliness make decisions for you.

Instructions

    1

    Thank him politely and tell him you'll need some time to think about it. This is, of course, if you're unsure and actually do need time to think about it. You don't need time if your gut's telling you no, the reasons you broke up were clearly unresolvable or there was abuse. In those cases, say no politely and move on.

    2

    Evaluate the reasons why you broke up and whether there has been significant change that would warrant giving the relationship another chance. Sometimes two people are good together but met at the wrong time for it to work smoothly. Be as objective as possible. Make a list of questions to ask him, if necessary, to evaluate the changes he's made.

    3

    Be clear on what you need from a relationship and your individual goals and whether your ex-boyfriend can offer you that. If you want marriage and he wants a good time, you're not on the same page and it won't work this time around, either.

    4

    Discern your own readiness to be in a relationship. If there are other factors influencing you to say yes, like loneliness, take the necessary time to deal with your own stuff before inviting someone to share your life with you.



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Sunday, June 28, 2015

How to Get a Life After a Breakup

How to Get a Life After a Breakup

Whether it was six months of dating or a marriage spanning decades, breakups are almost always difficult for everyone involved. You spent a lot of time, energy and emotional resources forging a relationship with another person, but now all you created together is firmly in the past. Instead of focusing on the life you once had with your ex, create a new life for yourself, one that fulfills your personal and social needs in a way that your broken relationship no longer can.

Instructions

    1

    Allow yourself time to adequately grieve for your lost relationship. While you want to move on and get a new life post-breakup, you'll have a better chance of finding happiness in your new life if you don't leave lingering issues unattended. Remember that emotions such as denial, anger, guilt and sadness are normal, but try not to dwell on negative feelings for too long.

    2

    Seek out your best, most supportive family members and friends. They'll help you get through the messy emotional stuff that immediately follows a breakup. Once you've completed your grieving process, ask them to include you on social outings. Getting back into the swing of things socially will distract you from dwelling on your grief and will give you the opportunity to seek out new friends.

    3

    Take care of yourself. Even if you're depressed, keep up with the necessities of day-to-day living: regular grooming, housekeeping and steady job performance will bolster your self-esteem and give you the courage to succeed in your new life.

    4

    Purchase a post-relationship totem. The advice book "It's a Breakup Not a Breakdown" by Lisa Steadman recommends buying something for yourself, if you have the income. Whether the object is practical or fanciful, you can use it as a symbol of your new life as well as a sign that you can now actualize your own wants and needs. For a small but regular emotional boost, put it in a place where you will use it or see it frequently.

    5

    Take up a new hobby. If there's a sport you've wanted to try, join a casual adult league. If you've always been curious about knitting, find a local knitting group. A new hobby helps you redefine your post-breakup self, distracts you from heartache and introduces you to new people. If you're able to join a hobby-related group, you'll also have a weekly or biweekly engagement to look forward to during rough times.

    6

    Accept dates when you feel ready. The advice book "After Your Divorce: Creating the Good Life on Your Own" by Cynthia MacGregor and Robert E. Alberti suggests that the right time for dating is whenever the idea of going out with a new person is more exciting than it is scary. Use the lessons you learned from your broken relationship to improve your chances at happiness with new potential mates.



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Saturday, June 27, 2015

How to Deal With Your Picky Boyfriend

Having a picky boyfriend can put a damper on eating out and trying new things as a couple. Often picky boyfriends are stubborn and not willing to try new things because they enjoy the comfort of what they know. Trying new things can cause anxiety or disagreements when you try to push something new onto your boyfriend. Therefore it's important to be sensitive to his needs while trying to broaden his horizons.

Instructions

    1

    Talk to your boyfriend about what he likes and what he dislikes. When cooking dinner, avoid specific ingredients or, if you want to use things such as onion for flavor, cut it in small enough pieces that he won't notice. When planning activities, go places he'll enjoy but also tell him you expect compromise if you want to do something he doesn't.

    2

    Introduce your boyfriend to new things. Often picky people have opinions on things they don't even try because they're uninterested or afraid. Suggest a new restaurant with a dish he should try or a day out to somewhere new.

    3

    Compare new items and activities to things he enjoys. For example, if he needs a new pair of jeans and will only buy them at an expensive, name-brand mall store, take him to a department store and ask him to try on a pair. Tell him it's the same fabric minus the label.

    4

    Make separate meals for him or take time to enjoy the things you like. You should not have to eat things only he likes or take part in activities he wants just because you are together. Find ways to enjoy the things you want with friends or family. You do not have to change your tastes because of your boyfriend.

    5

    Talk to your boyfriend about his behavior if he judges you because of things you do. For example, if he is a vegan and you eat meat and he makes comments while you eat, talk to him about that. Speak to him in a respectful manner, explaining that you don't judge him for his behavior so he should let you make your own decisions. Tell him he doesn't have to compromise but he cannot comment on your behaviors.



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