How to Break Up With Someone Nicely

Breaking up with someone is not an easy task. You have cared about each other, but it's just not working anymore and you don't want to hurt him/her.

Instructions

1

Think.

Why are you breaking up with him/her? Is the spark just not there? Is he/she too clingy? Whatever it is, think it through and decide whether this is something that could be fixed with a talk or if it really is over. You don't want to break up only to come running back to the person.

2

Call.

Ask him/her to meet you in a private setting. One of your homes would be the best choice. This allows you to have an uninterrupted conversation. Public breakups are never good.

3

Meet.

Once you have met up, sit him/her down and say you need to talk. Let him/her know that you enjoyed the time you spent together, but that it is just not working anymore. Explain why. He/she deserves the truth, but do not go into detail. For instance, if you feel that the spark is gone you can say that. Do not, however, go on about specific times that you weren't feeling it, etc. This is too truthful and will only hurt more.

4

Do not make false promises.

Don't say it's just a break if it's not. Don't say that you still want to be friends if you know you wont. This will only make things worse in the long run. Be honest.

5

Say your goodbyes.

It may be hard to break up, but at least you did the right thing. There is no use holding on to something that isn't working. You will both find new people to be with. Just give it time.

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How to Get ThroughYour Break-up

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How to End the Relationship First

Unless you are totally clueless, you usually know when a relationship is nearing the end. You've already gone through the stages and know that it's only a matter of time. You can choose to just go along, knowing that neither of you is happy. Or you can step up and take the initiative to end the relationship first. It won't be easy, but use these tips to help.

Instructions

1

Know that if you are even questioning whether the relationship is doomed means that it probably is. So by garnering the courage to be the one to make the break, you are saving both of you a lot more wasted time and possibly hurt feelings.

2

Take control of your life and stand up for yourself and your right to be happy. By giving yourself empowering affirmations, you can build up the courage you'll need to end a sour relationship.

3

Tell someone else close to you that you are going to break up with your partner. Make sure that it is a trustworthy friend or family member who can keep the information private until you are ready to go public. By having a supporter on your side, you will have someone to be accountable to if you lose your nerve. Also, you will have a waiting shoulder to cry on when it's finally over.

4

Break up in a public place if you think there might be a scene that you don't want to deal with. People often will avoid a fight or screaming in public.

5

Let the other person down easy by breaking up in private with gentle, loving words. You don't have to blame anyone or bring up old arguments. If you believe the other person will agree with your assessment of the relationship, then do it in a respectful manner in a private setting.

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How to Handle Running Into an Ex

A spur-of-the-moment run-in with your ex can often be an awkward experience, whether or not its something you wanted to happen. Sometimes youre so caught off-guard that you say or do something you end kicking yourself for after he walks away. Here are some tips for how you can better handle running into your ex.

Instructions

1

Be kind. Even if your ex cheated on you or hurt you very badly, you should display a good attitude. You may completely dislike your ex, but be the bigger person and be nice. It may be difficult, but youll feel much better about yourself than if you had flipped out and started screaming about how your heart was broken. If you take the high road, youll likely leave your ex completely confused and/or missing what she's lost.

2

Dont bring up old issues. Theres no point to it; leave the past in the past. Even if you have lingering questions you'd like answered, youre probably standing in a place where they're inappropriate to discuss anyway. Asking questions and bringing up past issues will only make the run-in more awkward.

3

Bring up something good about your own life. You dont need to brag or throw your new significant other in your exs face, but you can mention something positive thats going on. For example, if your ex asks how your life is going, respond with, Its going great; I just got a new job, or something along those lines. Just make sure its true; otherwise, if you get caught in a lie, it will only make you look foolish.

4

Keep it short and sweet. Prolonging the conversation may only bring up past feelings and sadness.

5

Dont cry, tear up or try to get back with your ex. Not only could you come across as weak, but your ex will know that youre not over him, and could end up feeling as if he has power over you. As difficult as it may be, stand firm and hold your ground. Dont give your ex the satisfaction. If you have to cry afterward, do it when youre in the privacy of your own home.

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How to Get Someone Back After Cheating on Them

Cheating on a partner pretty much breaks every rule in the relationship book as well as being a major breach of trust. Coming to terms with the betrayal and hurt is often too much for the injured party and so the relationship ends. If you are the guilty party and want to work towards a reconciliation with your partner there is much you need to consider first. It is not impossible for a relationship to recover from a person's infidelity however this will take time as well as effort from both of you.

Instructions

1

Stop all contact with the other person. If you are serious about winning back your partner than you need to sever all ties with the person with whom you cheated. If you do not feel you can stop contact or want to remain friends with this person you need to consider how serious you are about wanting your partner back.

2

Take responsibility and apologize for your actions. It is important if you want to reconcile your relationship that you admit you were in the wrong. Do not accuse or blame your partner, the only person responsible for your actions is you. Be sincere when making your apology, they may not want to listen if they is still in shock so give it time. Eventually they will appreciate the fact you had the courage to admit your wrongdoings.

3

Arrange a time you can talk to each other. This is an opportunity to get things out in the air not to force the issue of reconciliation. It can take a long time for a person to come to terms with infidelity; until they do they cannot entertain the idea of restarting your relationship.

4

Be honest when you do talk to your partner. Resist the temptation to lie about what happened, either to protect yourself or as a misguided attempt at protecting them from the truth. They will know you well enough to tell when you are lying -- making things worse for you. Think about what you are going to say and how best to say it before talking to your partner.

5

Answer their questions. Be prepared to answer lots of awkward questions honestly. The secrecy behind an affair is what causes the most damage to a relationship. Even after reconciliation, you will have to accept she may well ask questions for a long time to come.

6

Show compassion. Unless you have experienced infidelity for yourself you have no way of knowing how your partner feels. Show kindness and accept they are likely to have many ups and downs. Coming to terms with the infidelity of a loved one is far from a quick process. You need to accept that for the relationship to work you have to give space to process what has happened. If you feel annoyed by the way your partner is acting, leave them alone for a while. Criticizing them or telling them to "get over it" will just make things worse.

7

Attend couple's counseling. Committing to counseling is a good way to show your partner how important the success of your relationship is to you. A counselor is not there to tell you how to conduct your relationship or to cast opinion on your infidelity. In fact, many couples benefit from having an unknown third party to act as mediator.

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