Easy Dating Tips: February 2014

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Clues and Tips That He Doesn't Want to Be With You

A man never tells a woman he is dating that he doesn't want a long-term relationship and is only seeing her because it is convenient for him. He also certainly won't admit that as soon as it stops being convenient, he will dump her. Women, therefore, have to read the warning signs to protect themselves against the army of Lotharios prowling the world seeking women they can use and discard.

If a man spends every holiday with his brother's family and doesn't give you the number -- and turns off his cell phone -- he probably doesn't want to be with you. Similarly, if he goes on business trips without telling you the name of the hotel he is staying in, he is not interested. A man who cares may not be able to be with you every minute, but he does want to be there for you in case there is an emergency. The failure to be with you when it is important to you is the surest sign that he does not care.

These are wonderfully ambiguous statements because "space" could mean anything from "I need to spend an afternoon alone" to "I want to be free to pursue another relationship." Similarly, by telling you he is not ready for a commitment, he is dangling the possibility that he will be ready for one sometime in the future. Alas, the issue is often not that he isn't ready for a commitment, it's that he doesn't want to make one to you.

Pay attention to the quality of the people he introduces you to in his life. Ask yourself if these are his best friends or his third-tier friends and if they are in his life on a regular basis. If the only people he introduces you to are leaving for another continent the next week, remain cautious and protect yourself emotionally. A man who introduces you to his bookie but doesn't introduce you to his mother, daughter or colleagues doesn't want to be with you.

While everybody lies occasionally, a man who is interested in a relationship will generally be honest. If a man lies repeatedly, he doesn't care whether you think he is a liar because he isn't planning to be with you much longer.

A man who stands you up repeatedly and at the last minute does not want to be with you. You must be flexible and tolerant when applying this standard. If the man is a certified public accountant and it is tax season, his reasons for standing you up may be excellent. If a man cancels a date by telling you that his aging mother just broke a hip and is in the hospital, you should probably believe him, especially if you can check on the story. However, if a man calls you on Christmas Eve and tells you he can't make it for Christmas because his sister died -- and you call her home and find that she is very much alive -- then the man does not want to be with you.

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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

How to Kindly Break Up With Someone

"We have to talk." These are the words you never wanted to hear in the same sentence. You have met another special someone and it's now time to break it off with Jeremy... and start dating Zack? God, I dont know what you see in him! It's time to make the break up but there's one problem, you dont know quite how to do it. Dont feel bad, you're not the only one. Many people want a break up to go over as smooth as possible without any hard feelings. This article teaches you something you wont learn in English class; it will teach you how to break up with someone. Dont tell Jeremy about the break up until AFTER you have read this. He still might be mad, but hey... now you can ask Zack out! Every cloud has a silver lining, I guess.

Instructions

Pick an appropriate time and place to meet in person. If your relationship is new, you might get away breaking up on the phone, but this isnt recommended. If you have been going out for a long time it would be really rude to break up with someone on the phone. Also its a whole lot better not to meet in a public place if you are going to make a break up. Remember, ending a relationship is not real pleasing to any party (even if you seem really happy afterwards, you will still have a few feelings left). Don't break up in a place where the person will feel really vulnerable. Also consider choosing a rather random day. Avoid holidays and days like birthdays and anniversaries whenever possible. Do you really want your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend remembering how mean you were every time that day comes around?

Be sensitive and control your emotions. No one likes to get brushed off, but people appreciate the truth when it's over (unless the sad truth is you've just stopped finding the person attractive, you've met somebody better or that you're just really bored in your current relationship). In that case, you may not want to let the person know that you're breaking up with them because of this. Remember be sensitive. With this being said, try not to seem too happy about the breakup. Just be kind, caring and consider the other person as if it were you in their position.

Try not to react. Regardless of whom you are and what side you are on remember that some people just don't handle being rejected very well. Some people will yell, scream and cry. Remember dont react to their emotions. This may be hard not to do for people who are naturally emotional. Also remember that rejection is especially tough to people who have superstar egos. You have the upper hand by being the one who breaks the relationship off, so you dont be emotional with the other person. A few people may even get really crazy after you break up with them, if this happens well you need to leave immediately. If you believe the person will act like this before you make a break up you can just do it over the phone.

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Signs That the Relationship Is on the Decline

Something is telling you your relationship is on the decline. A look, a hurtful remark, a failure to follow through can be indicators your partner is disengaging from you. Robin Ann Barry analyzed the psychological dynamics of how romantic relationships dissolve in a 2010 study at the University of Iowa. She describes the direct and indirect communication strategies people use to end their relationships. Originally identified by Iowa communications professor Leslie A. Baxter, these strategies are clear signs a relationship is in trouble.

The most direct and clear indication a relationship is over is when one of the partners says it is. Dubbed by Baxter the "fait accompli" -- French for "already done" -- this is a clear communication from one partner to the other of the desire to end the relationship, leaving no opportunity to debate the decision. From the outside, this might seem an obvious indicator a relationship is over, but for the partner who is still engaged within the relationship, it might not be. Sometimes it takes several of these conversations for reality to sink in and to accept that things are not going to work out.

Your girlfriend announces the dreaded phrase: "We have to talk." While one partner calling for a state-of-the-relationship talk could signal an honest attempt to work on resolving problems in the relationship with discussion and compromise, it is also commonly a direct way for one partner to begin the conversation communicating a desire to end the relationship.

Your boyfriend used to pick up the phone right away, but now your calls to him go straight to voice mail. When you ask your girlfriend why she seems so distant lately, she replies, "No reason," and is annoyed by the question. When one partner is withdrawing, the other feels shut out and finds it difficult to communicate. The withdrawal strategy is designed to reduce contact and intimacy. It is an indirect way of avoiding the partner and a sure sign the relationship is in trouble.

Your girlfriend tells you that she's too tired and breaks a date, but you know she hasn't been too tired to go out every night this past week with friends. Your boyfriend tells you he needs more "personal space." The indirect communication strategy called "pseudo-de-escalation" tells your partner indirectly of your wish to decrease intimacy in the relationship. This is frequently done by asking for more time alone or more time spent with friends.

Acting up, picking a fight and purposely causing an argument are indirect ways to communicate a relationship is on the decline. Bad behavior is designed to push a partner away and make her rethink the benefits of being involved. Baxter dubs this strategy "cost escalation."

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How Can I Tell If My Girlfriend Will Cheat On Me?

Being cheated on is a traumatic experience for women as well as men. Having your trust in a romantic relationship be violated is difficult. While there are signs women can look out for to see if their boyfriend is at risk of cheating, there are also steps men can take to determine whether their girlfriend is on the verge of infidelity. With careful consideration, observation, patience and communication, a man can get a general understanding as to whether his girlfriend will cheat on him.

Instructions

Consider whether your girlfriend has strayed from you before. If you have confirmed that she has committed infidelity during a previous stage in your relationship, then that may be a sign that she can do it again. Be careful though, just because she may have cheated in the past doesn't necessarily mean she will cheat on you again. However, it is an indicator of her possible behavior patterns in the context of your relationship.

Determine whether your girlfriend is withholding information from you that was once part of your daily conversation. Did she used to tell you about the events of her day? Has she normally kept you abreast of all the happenings at her job or school or with her friends? If your girlfriend has suddenly stopped being open about her daily activities, then she may be on the verge of cheating, if she has not already.

Take note of any lack of emotion from her towards you. For example, if there are things that used to make her angry about you that no longer get under her skin, she may no longer care about you or the relationship. Being apathetic towards your partner is a sure sign of trouble in a relationship and can lead to cheating in an effort to find that emotional fulfillment she is no longer receiving from you.

Take stock of your own behavior in the relationship. If you cheated on your girlfriend in the past, she may be looking to even the score. This can be true if you stepped out of the relationship multiple times. Your girlfriend may have previously forgiven you for your lapses in judgment, but those days may be over. If you have a lot of dirty laundry in your closet, then she may be looking to step out on you and your relationship.

Talk to your girlfriend. Try to find out from her what may be wrong in your relationship and if she is thinking about cheating. If there is a problem, discussing it together can be more beneficial for the relationship than you trying to figure things out on your own. Also, the issues you both are confronting may actually be rooted in an outside cause. For example, your girlfriend may be acting despondent because she is unhappy at her job or is having money problems and may not even be considering cheating.

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