Easy Dating Tips: July 2013

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

How to Tell Your Boyfriend You're Sorry

You've messed up with your boyfriend and need to apologize. A great deal of your apology will depend on what you're apologizing for. A bigger "I'm sorry" will be required for cheating than if you accidentally left his car window open right before a thunderstorm. (Of course, that depends on how much he loves his car.) Find out ways to apologize that will hopefully lead to forgiveness.

Instructions

Tell your boyfriend you need to talk to him. Sometimes this scares guys off, so make sure he knows it's not about something he did wrong.

Choose a time to apologize when you'll be alone and uninterrupted, especially if the situation requires a long talk.

Show remorse. Your apology will be much more believable if it's obvious you're sorry for whatever you did.

Apologize. This can be as simple as "I'm sorry" or "I apologize," but you must be sincere about it.

Make it clear why you're apologizing. Don't just offer some vague apology, because he might not know what you're sorry about.

Send a card in the mail or online if your boyfriend doesn't want to talk to you. Personalize the card with an expression of how sorry you are.

Do something nice for him as a way of apologizing. If he likes cars, buy him the latest issue of his favorite auto magazine.

Be prepared for a negative reaction, especially if you did something serious, such as cheating.

Don't argue or present "buts" after your apology. This can get you right back to square one. Apologize and then let your boyfriend either accept it or not.

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Coping Strategies for Breakups

Going through a breakup is a difficult but common human experience. The majority of Americans---more than 85 percent---have done it at least once. Breakups always involve loss. They can leave you feeling scared, angry, shocked, confused, jealous, remorseful and sad. While no single coping technique can address all these feelings, using multiple coping strategies can help you deal with a breakup.

The end of a relationship marks the end of an emotional investment. With this loss comes grief. Understanding this normal reaction to a breakup will help you accept the range of emotions that come with grief. These emotions may include shock, denial, anger, loneliness and shame. Allowing yourself time to deal with these emotions will help you heal.

Reflecting on the positive aspects of a breakup through writing can help a person feel empowered and ward off negative emotions, according to the American Psychological Association. Finding positives after a breakup can be difficult, but people who look for the positives and write down the beneficial aspects of a breakup report more feelings of happiness, energy, relief, satisfaction, thankfulness and comfort.

Expressing your emotions to supportive people, such as family members and friends, can help validate your emotions. A therapist or counselor can also help you sort through your emotions and move toward new goals. Those who implemented such social coping strategies in response to a breakup experienced less anxiety, according to a study by the University of Nevada.

After a breakup, it's important to continue with your daily routine. Having a focus other than the breakup will give you needed perspective and distraction. Even if you are not functioning at your best, try to go to school or work regularly. Avoid making any major life decisions immediately after a breakup, such as moving, starting a new relationship or dropping out of school. As time moves on, you will find that you can refocus on your future prospects.

Take care of yourself by getting sufficient sleep and eating right. Practice relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and visualizations. Consider getting a massage or treating yourself to something special. If you've been putting off learning something new or reaching out for a goal, now is the time to invest in yourself. This will boost your self-esteem and help you cope.

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How to Handle My Boyfriend Blowing Me Off

You phone, and get no return call, then a text that also goes unanswered. As you dial again, you wonder if you are making a mistake. Maybe you shouldn't call at all, you think as your finger hovers over the send button. To many, this scenario is familiar. If you have ever experienced this period of questioning and self-doubt associated with being blown off, you may be eager to know how to handle such an offense. While it certainly isn't easy to cope with a brush-off, if you willingly enter the turbulent sea of dating, you may have to do just that more often than you would lilke.

Instructions

Analyze the situation. Instead of continuing to reach out to your boyfriend only to be rebuffed, stop your attempts to contact him and try to determine what may be at the root of the issue. If you recently had a fight, for instance, he may still be cooling off and not ready to talk to you. Avoid blaming yourself. Remember, even if this blow-off is permanent, it likely isn't your fault.

Put the issue into perspective. Though it may seem like the world is crashing down around you, it most certainly isn't. Try your best to avoid making the issue into more of a problem than it is. Continually remind yourself that, worst case scenario, the relationship ends. Either way, you will survive.

Focus on your friends. Don't sit at home pining for your your guy. Instead, hit the town and have a girls' night. Doing so will give you something to smile about and likely allow you to forget about the guy, at least for a little bit.

Tell your boyfriend your concerns. If and when he does return your calls, speak to him about the blow-off. Don't confront him and demand an explanation, but instead calmly tell him that you were concerned, and make sure that there is nothing that you can do to fix whatever problem may have caused him to temporarily put you on the back burner.

Cut ties. If this blow-off is a regular thing, you will likely be better without the guy in your life. Unless you want to continually ride the emotional roller coaster that accompanies being blown off, end your relationship and seek a better, more reliable, mate.

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Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Phases of Grief During a Breakup

Grief helps people heal after experiencing a loss. Usually grief is associated with death; however, people who experience job loss or divorce also grieve. People grieving after a breakup work through the same stages of grief as someone mourning a loss due to death. Grieving after a breakup helps people to work through the pain the separation caused and allows them to begin moving forward so they can establish new relationships.

During the denial phase, people hope for reconciliation and remain in denial that the relationship has ended permanently. People tend to wait for their partner's return and assume they will eventually reconcile. People sometimes isolate themselves and stop participating in their usual social activities.

Throughout the anger phase, the person feels anger at the person he believes has caused his pain. When the other partner does not return to the relationship, it causes feelings of disappointment, which angers the person. People may experience anger at the world for being unfair, anger at God for allowing this to happen, or anger about the events that led to the breakup.

During the bargaining stage, the person tries to determine what he can do to take away the feelings of loss. Sometimes people think about how the breakup could have been prevented and how certain events may have resulted in a different outcome. Sometimes people become desperate to reconcile in an attempt to avoid further pain.

The depression phase results in people feeling sadness. They may also experience feeling numb. Sometimes people feel anger toward themselves during this phase. They might feel worthless or unlovable. They may begin to have negative thoughts about themselves and their contribution to the relationship ending. The reality of the extent of the loss begins to set in during this stage as well.

Sadness begins decreasing during the acceptance phase. People start acknowledging the extent and reality of the loss. They may accept that the loss of the relationship also means less money or fewer friends. People recognize that despite the loss, they have the ability to continue on and move forward. They begin to look at the possibility of new opportunities in life, including possible new relationships.

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How to Break Free From an Obsessive Relationship

Although leaving an obsessive relationship can be difficult, it is possible. When you have reached your limits with the relationship, it is time to break free from it in a swift calculated manner. Staying in an obsessive relationship is bad for your self esteem and may end up costing you your life.

Instructions

Know that breaking free is possible. Your partner will try to make you believe that you will never be able to function or even live without him. This is not the case and represents a classic argument made by an obsessive partner. Understand that you are not alone and people have been able to break free in the past.

Decide you really want to leave. The decision to leave will not be easy but, is necessary before freeing yourself is possible. No one else is able to make the decision for you. Reach a firm decision to leave and stick with your feelings.

Build your self confidence. Although you may feel helpless, you must remember that you are a person with value. Take pride in the things you do well and seek out opportunities for self improvement. For example, take out your poetry notebook to read some of your best work. Ask a friend or family member to help remind you of your good qualities in case you need a second opinion.

Tell someone you trust and ask for their help. Choose a close friend to explain your situation and intentions. Let him know that you are serious and would like help in breaking free from your obsessive relationship. Avoid confiding in people who may break your confidentiality.

Plan your escape. Contact friends or a close family member to ask if you could stay with them. Be sure to explain the situation including any threats being made by your obsessive partner. Consider filing for a restraining order if the situation warrants it. Cease all contact and communication with your partner.

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Does He Still Like Me? - How To Find Out - How To Get Your
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After a break up it is very common to feel that your ex boyfriend does not like you anymore, especially if he was the one that broke up with you.